Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
