So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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