sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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