At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
