you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
