So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
