Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
