im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
