4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
