I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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