Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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