Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
