ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
