I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
