you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
