My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
