this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
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Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
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Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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