their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
