ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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