You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
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Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
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Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
as a side note pls kill me
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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