Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
