Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
