Are we in a gay sports bar?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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