I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
