so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
