Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
