everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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