I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
