I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
