At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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