Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
