they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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