Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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