just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
this boner is exhausting
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
