Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
