tonight lets celebrate not being married
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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