the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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