I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
