Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
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The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
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Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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