I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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