theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
