Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
