have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
