Well douche your snatch and let's go!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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