It's Friday. Sex?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Fuck appropriateness.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
