I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
