Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
