Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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