I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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