i wish semen tasted like chocolate
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
