ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize