i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize