I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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