I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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