But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
