The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
All the doctor said was why
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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