She is in my trunk
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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