I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
