I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
