never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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