maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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