what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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