so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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